Thursday, February 17, 2011

Creative Procrastination

I am suppose to be doing the taxes for my business but... this was more fun. I've been addicted to the crafty type blogs lately (another procrastination technique) and I have a whole list of things I'd love to do. Strangely however, I came up with my own project. I took a DI frame I got for 2 bucks and covered it with pieces of a couple rice bags I bought off of e-bay forever ago. Notice the red stripe on the left side is a functioning zipper:) I kinda like it though this photo I put in it isn't perfect for it. If I do it again I want to find a wider frame to give it more impact.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Overwhelming the Professionals

I went to my first session with a new therapist yesterday and it all came down to one fact: I overwhelmed her. How do I know this you ask? At the end of the session, she rubbed her hand across her tired looking face as she said she needed me to write down everything I want to work on and in order of severity. What had I just done for the past hour? I saw her take notes; was she just writing herself a grocery list? Am I really that far out there that I make a professional go, 'Wow, hold on a min'? Compared to my past, I thought it was all pretty tame. Oops, I guess not. This is all somewhat humorous but probably leans more to the side of disturbing. If I overwhelmed someone who has made a career out of listening to people's problems all day... um ya.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Depression Day

There is no reason for it today but it's a depression day. I had a blast with friends from the ward this afternoon but before and after that it's taken all my energy to not hide in bed all day. Although Scott is still in front of the tv while I hide on the computer. Nothing is different than yesterday. No new stresses or lack of meds. So why today? I'm trying to focus on what my hubbie said on my last inexplicable depression day, "You're allowed to feel this way and it doesn't mean you're a bad person." As part of improving myself, I am making sure I accomplish something today. But as I sit here working on a rock awesome baby announcement, if I do say so myself, I can't help but feeling somehow worse. Is it because I've put work in front of the kids and house? Or would I feel the same if I had made one of those things my accomplishment for the day? Throughout all these down feelings, however, I do need to realize that there was a time not even that long ago that I would have said forget life and climbed right back into bed.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Here are my first ever "real" running shoes. These babies are going to take me all the way through the Utah Valley Marathon on June 11th.

I came up with the insane idea that I could run a marathon about 6 months ago. I researched training programs and realized you had to already be a runner to even imagine such things. So... I started by WALKING for 20 mins. Now, you've gotta understand, in junior high my New Years resolution was to never make another resolution ever. Strangely enough that's the only resolution I've ever kept. Goals are in the same category so needless to say, I'm scared to find out if I will actually make it. I seem to self sabotage everything. Anyone else out there do this? What am I afraid of? Why can't I let myself be successful? I even do this with my business which is INSANE because I am so lucky to have a career that I adore. Anyway, this marathon is a huge thing so I am just focusing on what I'm going to do tomorrow: break in my awesomely stylin' shoes during a 4 mile run!

The Beginning of Plain Truth

I recently had an experience that gave me a peek into my future, and I didn't like it. I mean, I REALLY didn't like it. This blog is my way of documenting my way through life to hopefully a better me. Deep huh. No, seriously, I figure if I make myself accountable to something (even if it is just a blog) I will reach my goals of mental stability, a healthy body, and spiritual progression. And hopefully others may benefit a little from my honesty as well. This won’t be the typical "Mormon Mom" blog so many type A women are famous for. I plan to share my struggles along with my successes. My plain truth is I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression and I also have some OCD tendencies. For the longest time I have been just surviving through each day and have been content with that fact because, sadly, it is a step above where I have been. But now is the time to look forward and get my butt moving :) I would love your support by hearing from you so please comment frequently and share this blog with others. Here's to progression!